Saturday, December 17, 2005

My brain is just too full.

Do other people have this problem? Honestly, I can't cram anything else in my brain. If I do, I'm sure my hair will start to fall out. And still the world is full of things I want to know and do. There are thousands of books I haven't read yet. Art wants to seep onto canvas from my fingertips. I ache to create more xstitch. And I hear there are babies in hospitals who need to be rocked. I want to understand how people think and why they make the choices they make. I want to be able to help children, but I can't remember all the things I've learned to do that, and there are still so many more ways that I haven't learned. And sometimes, when I have to do a lot of thinking, my head just hurts.

Maybe it's just too technical for me.

I try. Heaven knows, I really try; but I can't figure out this blogging stuff. I was re-reading my post about the tree farm, and it ended in mid-sentence. I can't find the rest of it. Does the Blog-Fairy have any idea how frustrating this is? Or is there a Blog-Leprechaun playing tricks on me?

Technology reduces me to feelings of self-doubt. In fact, when we first were given Mac computers at school, many years ago, they were so wonderfully intuitively designed that I became one of the people in the building that others came to for help. No problem, I can fix that. But I guess Bill Gates couldn't have that, and now we have things that aren't words telling me to do things that aren't verbs, or accusing me of errors when all I did was sit here, mystified. Things happen on my screen that defy description. AND I have been accused of spamming. How did I do that? (well, turns out that wasn't me)

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Where has my little blog gone?

Well, here is the blog, but where is the post I wrote today? Not that it was something important in the continued survival of our species, but I did spend time on it, and I wonder where it went?
For a few years there, I didn't. After my children moved out and the drunk was gone, after my parents passed away, Christmas was pretty much reduced to an expense once a year, and myself reduced to an object of pity among my friends who still had family celebrations.

Then came grandchildren.

This will be my third year visiting Houston for Christmas. It's not a Christmas-y city. It's big and sprawled out, way too busy, unattractive, undecorated, un-, un-, un-... but I have grandchildren there, and what a joy Houston is with grandchildren! Two years ago I watched two little gigglers throw tree ornaments at each other. My son, in his dad-wisdom, had found unbreakable, colorful ball ornaments for the tree. And those two gentle little lambs, in an aberrant moment (that never ended), thought they were the best part of Christmas.

That year we made gingerbread men. When I tried to explain to the 2-y-o that she needed to "press down" with the cookie cutter, she, always obedient, got down off the stool. I couldn't persuade her to come back and finish helping. The 5-y-o kept up a steady stream of commentary; I didn't follow any of it. I never have.

Last year we made a gingerbread house from a kit. Those kits are great fun. After dad constructed the house itself, the kids added the frosting and candy decor. The 3-y-o sat in the middle of the table. The 6-y-o kept up a steady stream of commentary. Both of them were so excited they could hardly handle it.

I wonder what we'll do this year? Today I went to the U-Cut tree farm with DD and her family, which includes her hubby and a 22-m-o. The little guy was beside himself. He didn't know whether to run or hop, an

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Raise Your Hand If...

Something is lost. Didn't I have any posts? I thought I posted something. Life is too darn confusing.