Monday, August 7, 2006

Someone Died This Week

On Saturday I learned that a man I once loved had died.

During a sad, lonely period in my life, I found him; or maybe he found me. By the time we split, I felt used and abused.

He was a talented man who abused drugs and alcohol most of his life. He sang with an angel's voice, but he couldn't sing, couldn't play guitar, unless he was high.

I am saddened at the waste of a precious life. And I have been waiting for this news for over five years, ever since I wouldn't let him come back home. Living with him was toxic. He was angry and abusive, physically, emotionally, verbally, mentally.

Toward the end, he tried to get sober, and went into treatment. His sobriety lasted 4 days. That really was the end for me, but it took months of Al-Anon and counseling for me to make the break.

I hurt for those he has left behind. His mother, sister, two sons, and others who knew him as a child and remember him as he once was, those who knew his potential so much better than I. I grieve for what I thought we had, but what was never real. I pray he has found the peace he he wanted so desperately.