Sunday, October 1, 2006

Assume Best Intentions

I get my feelings hurt. This has been a pattern for me most of my life. I'm quit to hear the subtle insult, the passive rudeness, the disdainful tone of voice...even when it isn't there. It is a side effect of low self esteem, and I come by it honestly - it's genetic. Or not. Nature vs nurture... it's how I was raised.

Well, I fight this constantly, and at the tender age of xx I may be making some headway in the battle. It isn't always about me. Figuring this out was a huge step for me. A random comment from a friend about 20 years ago showed me that there is a lot of ego involved in thinking people are always thinking of me and insulting me. That helped a lot in healing my id.

So another random comment a couple of weeks ago has given me a new affirmation. Assume best intentions. When people say things and I catch myself taking them negatively, I regroup and remind myself to assume those people have the best intentions. It has already gone some distance to relieving me of the burden of being hurt or insulted. It's kind of a relief.

2 comments:

Von said...

I really think this is true most of the time, we all have good intentions, but they often fall short of the mark. Giving others the benefit of the doubt makes life much easier. :)

Hannelie said...

I understand what you are saying, I also still do it many times and have to either ignore or believe they had good intentions. Some people just don't care what they say and don't think! I would come home after we've been out and say things to my husband like 'They only talked to you', apparently it's me, all me who are thinking this.